I am right where I’m supposed to be
An ode to self
Well really this transitional moment that’s taking place
I’ve been here before, mainly because I never left
It’s one of those places that takes on the metaphor of being a thing while not being something you can hold
Anyway, like I said, I’ve been here before
It’s a subtle understanding that I’ve come to
A beautiful one
She rose to this very occasion
To accept this knowing
The best thing
The most trusted thing
The silence in her mind created space for this exact thing to form
Again a very formless thing
In a very formless way
Whose form was as dense as reality can be
We know this place
We remember this place
We have held others while they walk to this place
To meet up here
And then walk ahead so we can meet them there when it is our time
Our Time
Our time
To create in our again knowing of this place
She creates
Without expectation for where the next place will take her
Hoping that the new place is just an evolved explanation
A more fruitful destination
To wrap her mind around the reason what everything is starting to make sense
To allow space to recognize why she gets to do what she does
To make the keys that unlocks her
While finding out that only those that get unlocked by those very keys are the only ones that will truly understand her
A stranger
In the most ridiculous of time
Yes
A stranger will receive what she vowed to create and know more than she ever expected to unveil about the muck
The waters that were in a chamber
On strict protocol for the time that is here now
It makes me sick
To feel like I know how this will end
To feel like everything I’ve worked for to get here is just going to be breezed away in the wind
To think that there will be no record to the air that flew through the room
To the extent that I might
Just might
Just excuse me, make it
I might fucking make it and it makes me fucking sick
I might make the very thing that pushes and pulls
Expands and constricts
Locks and gets free
For the everlasting change that is meant to exist in this life
The change that does exist in this life
For what we have and will never know
For the things we were never supposed to get used to
For the ones that come and pass
For the way we always cried out for
The one that never knew to wait for us
The exact us
The one that was looking to be sought after
What does that mean?
The very way to transform is the very way you become something different
Something more
An ode
To all the things that came before and that are most definitely
Already on there way hereafter
She creates
Has created
In a way that is new
For you
And her
To become while she dances in the abyss
Is to know her formlessness exists in all spaces.
With no-one to transcend
But
Her self.
HELIA SOUL | February 10th, 2025
